Since I have gotten older, I have become curious about the lives of woman in their 20s. For some reason I find many of them quite cold and daring. Perhaps they have grown stronger after repeated disappointments, or they have simply become tired of things. I wonder if they are trying to display their confidence and self-reliant capacity to survive life’s journey. In this work I have looked into their lives in order to find out what is behind their charm and mystery.
I began searching for collaborators for the project through online bulletin boards and acquaintances. Those who were interested in participating would send me emails with details of their age, height and a profile picture. We met up to discuss about the project, and unexpectedly I found all of them very open and calm. Coming from different backgrounds, office workers, teachers, art students, and so on, they would tell me a lot of things about their work and family. They seemed to be very strong –willed but also very fragile and innocent. Meeting them in person did not change the impression I had of them in the beginning.
After explaining the concept of this project, I passed to them an infrared trail camera that was originally designed to monitor animals. The camera does not need any form of operation - it automatically captures without emitting any sound or light when it detects movements. Pictures taken cannot be reviewed with the camera. The participants moved around freely in their rooms in the presence of the camera. No photographer was present and they would not know when the shutter operated or how the pictures would turn out. Occasionally, they would deliberately pose in front of the camera in the dark, and during the other times their daily lives were being recorded, unconscious of the camera. The camera would keep shooting even though they might have eventually grown tired of being photographed. When they returned the camera to me, they seemed to be more curious about the results than I was, as if they were peeking into the lives of other people.
I entrusted them with the whole photographic process for this project, in order to exclude the photographer's intentions, techniques, and the possibility for any relationship between the photographer and the subject to be reflected in the work. Unobserved by anyone in particular, only their awareness of self and their bodies remain present in the atmosphere. In the end, this remote “surveillance” did not reveal any secrets about the participants. What I could see is how they are facing up to society on their own, trying their best to go through their everyday lives without losing their modest dreams. There is a kind of glory in them that makes them radiant, like muses, even though they might not know it themselves. While the project may be a living documentary of their present existence it is also a representation of my fond hope for them to remain in peace and dignity.
彼女たちに興味を持ったのは、きっと自分が年をとったせいなのだろう。多くの２０歳代の女性から感じる不可解な冷淡さと、同時にもつ大胆さ。それはいくつかの失望から得た強さや疲れなのか、一人で生きていくしたたかさや自信の表れなのかはわからない。そして彼女たちを覗いてみたい、妖しい魅力を解き明かしたいという欲望は、こうした方法を私にとらせた。
私はインターネットの掲示板や知人の紹介を通じて撮影に協力してくれる女性を探しはじめた。寄せられたメールには、年齢や身長とともに写真が添付されている。会ってみるとみな意外なほど落ち着いており、警戒心もない。職業はOLや教師、美大生などさまざまで、彼女たちは仕事や家族のことをよく話した。他を寄せつけない意志の強さを持っているかと思えば、何もわかっていないのではないかと思わせる危うさも感じさせる。それは当初から私が抱いていた印象を変えるものではなかった。
趣旨を説明し、動体を検知すると自動的に撮影する動物監視用の赤外線カメラを女性たちに預けた。操作が不要で、音や光を発することなく撮影し、画像を確認する機能はない。彼女たちは自分の部屋でカメラを前に動き回った。撮影者はいない。時には暗闇の中でポーズをとり、時には無意識下の日常が記録される。いつシャッターが下りたのかわからず、どんな写真が撮られているのかもわからない。いずれ飽きがきてもカメラは淡々と撮影し続ける。回収するとき、彼女たちは私以上に撮られた写真に興味津々だった。まるで他人を覗き見るかのように。
撮影のすべてを彼らに委ねた。私は、撮影者の意思や技術、またどこかに漂ってしまうであろう相互の関係性を写真から排除したかった。残るのは一方的で誰に向けられるものでもない、宙に浮いた自意識と肉体。この密かな観察は、何かを解き明かしてくれるものではなかった。覗き見えたのは、彼女たちの、孤独に外の社会と向き合う姿、小さな希望を失わずに抑揚のない日常をやり過ごすけなげさ、そして自分も気づいていない女神のような荘厳さ。これらは、今を生きる彼女たちの生の記録であるが、むしろ、閉じこめられた静かで崇高な存在であって欲しいという、私自身の儚い願望の表れなのかもしれない。